When it matters Castiel
by LexiGrimm
Summary: Castiel has never doubted any orders to this extent before, he has questions now and nothing is being answered.


A/N: This is my first writings to be published here, please leave any critiques or comments so I may better my writing skills. :)

Castiel wasn't one to question his father's orders, or at least the ones given to him by those who spoken to their Father. Yet now he stooped into the ground, his hands gripping into the curls of his vessel's hair. He pulled, yearning for the confusion to stop. Castiel never had even the slightest ounce of doubt in his Father, God the Father of all creation, but that all changed when Dean came into the picture. The Hunter put under Castiel's protection, pulled from Hell by Castiel himself, but still the human implanted his own unknowing doubt into the recesses of Castiel's mind.

Why didn't he answer? Why couldn't their Father answer him this once, Castiel had never questioned anything that his Father had told unto him, even if it wasn't from God himself. Biting at the thought and feelings of envy, Castiel didn't know why he wasn't good enough for his Father. He was an obedient child, never wavering in thought or in act as he carried out orders with almost flawless accuracy. Why was he never to be in presence of his Father? The feeling was clear to him, Envy had set in.

The prolonged exposure allowed the humans to seep their sins and vices into his everyday thoughts, assimilated to the level of humans that he was sent to watch over. After all he had begun to lust for the attention and the commands that were not given to him. Yet it didn't stop there, but continued onto flesh as he felt the human vessel, Jimmy, growing restless without the needed release. Being the vessel of an Angel, Castiel was assured that Jimmy Novak's need for the contact would subside to the power and call of their Father's orders. It didn't, at times it was almost distracting, he would never let it pull him from the current task or order, but it would grow difficult. Yes, Jimmy was married at the time he committed to Castiel; Novak willingly gave the Angel his body for use of God's will. Castiel shouldn't had been as surprised when the lust was overwhelming at times, it wasn't his, the body was accustomed to being pleasured and having its wanting needs fulfilled. Where Jimmy was a church going man, content with the one woman he had married, Castiel did not have any thoughts with genders leaving his lustful mind to wander at times to certain humans.

It was Dean, again the Hunter, the human man that he had spent so much waiting patiently for an order for him to get closer, just one that he could willingly fulfill. Castiel was there in the man's time of need, never physical, but he was still present, watching the way the hard features would soften and turn to sadness. Compassion filled Castiel at those times. He wished to brush away those tears, just as Jimmy had for his wife when she too would stoop to crying and having fits of tremors. He couldn't allow his thoughts to wander farther from there, Jimmy would understand. It was still the man's body and he would highly object to being used by Castiel to fulfill the Angel's curiosity. Curiosity that he should be objecting to in any case it was lust, a sin.

He must keep reminding himself of this in his mind, to not fall beneath his status of an Angel, to not be consumed by the things that pulled him away from the plan. What that plan was in full detail? He did not know, surely it was meant to be that way. Castiel had no reason to doubt his Father; he never had and that was right. All this doubt was just a concept created by the tainted, a human mind, implanted into him by the corruption that was the Hunters. Those small thoughts, after all that horrific moments of doubt, those small thoughts were what cleared it to Castiel that he was in the right and put him back in the place that he held among his Garrison. Almost on cue, as if he had waited, Dean called out to Castiel in prayer. The man's prayer sent shivers down his spine and with that he was gone, going to stand by the side of his Hunters. The moments of questioning before quickly pushed from his mind without any second thought.


End file.
